So, today, I’m 35 3/7 wks, one week before my earliest delivery of my full pregnancies (Ridley). How am I feeling? Well, overall, I feel good. This baby moves a lot! This one feels like he/she is trying to break out often–coming straight out the front or the top…sometimes the bottom. HA! So thankful for a crazy active baby though!
Tonight, I told Stephen that I feel like a walking time-bomb for some reason this time. Not the anger meaning. But, I have a fear that any second my water is going to break this time. I never had that with any of my others, even though my water has broken first with all of them! I have this fear that I’m going to go into labor too early. Right now is too early in my book. I have this fear that we won’t be ready for this one’s arrival.
Why do I feel this way this time? I have no idea. There really are no indications or reasons for such thoughts. Maybe it’s a control issue. I have no control over when my babies come. As much as I try to be ready, I just don’t know when they’ll come, so I may or may not be as ready as I think I want to be.
I know in my heart that God is in control and knows the exact time and day that this little one will show up. I need to rest in that…peacefully. I’m just struggling with that for some reason. I think (ok, I know) it kind of makes me grumpy towards the kids at times. When I clean the floors and then they go tromping through the house with messy feet…I get irritated. After the playroom has been completely cleaned and organized, and then I go up and it appears like a tornado blew through…I get irritated. Oy. They are kids. It’s summertime. I need to let go. This baby isn’t going to care if the playroom is picked up or the floors are cleaned. I guess I shouldn’t either. But, I do…
Anyway, that’s where I am. I have no idea if this baby will come next week or in 4 wks. Although, I’m not thinking we’ll make it to September honestly. But, God knows.
Pray that this baby will arrive safely in His timing, and that I can enjoy this final time of pregnancy with peace and trust in His will.
Here is a little video I took yesterday of a little movement of our sweet baby! It’s hard to get anything on video. Seems the baby knows when I have the video on, and gets all still…until I give up and turn off the recorder. Booger! 🙂